what’s in a word?

Saying sorry to a person you feel you may have annoyed or actually intentionally annoyed frees you from carrying the burden of guilt around with you. It  clears the way for making up or “patching things up” as they say. Why would anyone think it is belittling to eat humble pie? It is, to say the least, rather quite  unconscionable  for a right-thinking person to hold the view that making an apology is reversing oneself in any way. You apologize because you have acknowledged wrong-doing. No one is going to reach out to strike you. It is a noble gesture and one which shows a sort of sophisticated morality. It is the gentle thing to do.

I am preparing my bits now. I will then keep reviewing my statement of apology. I need to use a sensitive approach as i go about it. Just saying sorry? Oh come off it! Genuinely and without a dab of pride signifying  some high-minded notion of intellectual supremacy. We get so caught up with the socially-observed “effects” of such gestures. When you genuinely apologize for a slight, slander, malicious utterances etc, you get it out of your conscience and breath easy afterwards. It should also remove feelings of rancor on the part of the aggrieved party and help you live long. We all deserve to be unconditionally happy(even us adults).

Are you with me?  Pick the correct time. If the fall-out was really bad, get some advice first, from a trusted confidant. Choose your words carefully. If you must, involve a third party. Should it happen that the other person refuses to take your apology, for lack of grace or such, you the apologist needs to take it in stride and back off gently with plans to try again later (perhaps at a better time). They’ll eventually give in if your  efforts are sincere enough and whether you are doing it for the sake of peace.

We all err, believe that. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes because we are, er…only human. Guilt is a burden. Believe that also.

stay blessed

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A converging of paths

Happy new year and good riddance 2017. You were bad, monotonous and so drawn out and extended it is hard to fathom how you packed in all you did. i am the kind who likes order. I do not like upheaval. I prefer not to be upstaged when i am running my show. When i look back at my accomplishments of 2017, when i start to feel a soaring pride in them, i want to let out an extended, made-for-the-natives loud scream of self-congratulation.  But equally, during the review of a year bygone, when i come across a pattern that might prove an instance of discontinuity, i get annoyed and cannot help feeling betrayed by someone or something, seen or unseen, a conspiracy of forces that caused the crease in a year  or  it seems everything conspired in 2017 to rob me of so much……joy, ambition,   and more than i cannot list here that i had tenaciously held onto. The love of human beings is very fickle to say the least, or, “as inconsistent as the moon”

The year in review took a meandering route, took too long to end and  left me  the sharp memory of a  bristly experience i  had on my blog here . . nothing life-changing only that it left me  feeling technically limited.   i felt inadequate and dangling on a string (reminds me of an adorable picture of a kitten dangling by a string with the caption below, “faith isn’t faith until it’s the last thing you are holding onto”.) very unnerving but…”tough times don’t last.”. I managed to fix it yesterday.

 

Today i have a spot of good news for you. i found my old friends again. We had been out of touch for a while, quite long to be truthful. I suppose none of us was purposely trying to keep away from the others it’s just we were, quite separately too engrossed in our own lives. We grew up. We went away from home. We came back. We met new people in the process. We developed and worked new connections. The thread of friendship we had meticulously weaved was left to run while “life went on”. Time waits for nothing.

You see, we were last together, as friends in 2000 when the world was still young and in the days i talk of, quite also apparently relatively carefree and “thriving” so to speak. Fast-forward to the present, we have grown into fully-packaged, separately-bottled, distinguished adults complete with our personal foibles. Sometimes when some of us meet, there are the little awkward adjustments we make and on the part of some, at unguarded moments during conversation, accusations resembling those similar to charges of infidelity may escape one’s conscience. One might call that a Freudian slip. Of people making themselves  incommunicado and not “keeping the faith”. Of growing apart. It is a problem of perception or how one sees the world. It may be about a friend who may have forgotten to keep a promise here, or elsewhere, or plain not kept in touch. Failure in certain critical steps. I am awake now.  Thank god i have learnt to let go and to forgive myself the past. Before i leave,

“….to our dearly departed comrade and singularly creative spirit, dizz, a stellar representative of the African Legends crew, the void you left will forever remain empty but you live on in our hearts and memories. Thank you for sharing your life with us as an individual and visual expressionist, we shall miss you dearly….”

Rest In Peace Dennis Oscar Ggaliwango Mubuke”

2017 is gone, bye bye, i have learned to accept some losses as inevitable consequences of this thing called life. I am beginning to rediscover the simple pleasures. like being who you truly want to be by being around people who matter to you. Mostly. see you,

Gotta go